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johnny dollar's vault

retro pop culture and various local observations and ramblings.

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Location: Baltimore, Maryland, United States
johnny dollar's vault resides in the basement of stately dollar maisonTM, amongst the wine cellar, tiki bar, and finicky electrical panel. from time to time i will unearth various artifacts from either there or from the random crevices of my mind.

please visit the new and improved pig cookin' post!

NOTE: this blog will NOT deal with any recent pop culture (i.e. since about 1990) or topical issues, so if you're looking for discussion about britney baracko jacko flacco, look elsewhere, lol

Thursday, October 19, 2006

halloween part 3: teen w(olf)-t-f?

i will buy a beer at the upcoming blogger happy hour for the person who most satisfactorally answers the following question:


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Being a werewolf doesn't make you better at basketball. Werewolves only appear to be better at basketball because no one on the opposing team wants to guard them. They are all afraid of rubbing up against that nasty werewolf hair. Gross.

5:24 PM  
Blogger Jamaila said...

There are like a bazillion reasons.

1) You can dig your massive claws into the wood floor to gain better traction for running and jumping.

2) Have you seen the jumping muscles on a wolf's hind legs?

3) You can slobber wolf spittle all over and make the floor really slick, which of course would incapacite all the other players who were not taking advantage of 1).

4) You can practice virtually anywhere by weaving a net out of hair you've plucked from your weird mane-thing. And we all know practice makes you better.

7:09 PM  
Blogger kris said...

Slam dunks by way of raw animal power. Duh! Besides. (some) Chicks dig the fur exposure...80s chicks did anyway.

9:39 PM  
Blogger Malnurtured Snay said...

Is this a trick question? Didn't you tell me you couldn't make the happy hour!?!

11:21 PM  
Blogger Malnurtured Snay said...

And, in all seriousness, because when you turn into a werewolf the opposing team wets itself and runs away so their girlfriends don't start laughing at them and refuse to ever blow them.

11:22 PM  
Blogger johnny dollar said...

anghang: ok, the 'frontin' with the gross hair' theory... :D

jamaila: i'll call yers tha 'white wolves CAN jump / slobber / practice anywhere' theory... :P

verity: ok, for yours, the 'wolf power slamdunk / 80's manliness' theory... and

snay: the 'scary pantswetting / involuntary abstainance effect' theory...

btw, yeah, i waz lyin'... we'll be there! i'l aceept theories until nov 1st, and dispense beer(s) forthwith.

8:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You can call mine "a wolf would look wussy playing mini-golf, crocheting or indulging in any sport or hobby that doesn't spotlight their fine athletic prowess theory." And don't give me that weremonkeys would be better at basketball then werewolves mumbo-jumbo.

11:49 AM  
Blogger johnny dollar said...

w.k.: no crocheting. check :D

12:48 PM  

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