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johnny dollar's vault

retro pop culture and various local observations and ramblings.

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Location: Baltimore, Maryland, United States
johnny dollar's vault resides in the basement of stately dollar maisonTM, amongst the wine cellar, tiki bar, and finicky electrical panel. from time to time i will unearth various artifacts from either there or from the random crevices of my mind.

please visit the new and improved pig cookin' post!

NOTE: this blog will NOT deal with any recent pop culture (i.e. since about 1990) or topical issues, so if you're looking for discussion about britney baracko jacko flacco, look elsewhere, lol

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

tales of the fez

in the october of about 1998, i decided i was going to be mustafa / nassim (see above) for a halloween party. so i called a hat store in georgetown, washington dc called "hats in the belfry" and got some guy. i said, "do you carry fezzes?" and he replied, "what's a fez?" i tried to describe it, but it was hopeless so i drove there to find out in person. when i got there, that guy wasn't there but there was a woman behind the counter and perhaps the manager woman who came in a bit later. i found the proper red fez, and while paying for it, i mentioned that the previous person i had called hadn't known what a fez was. i meant it in the spirit of having an informed haberdasher... you know, customer service. well the manager looked like i had just royally insulted the fellow, and made some snippy remark. fez in bag, i happily walked out of the store onto wisconsin avenue. the manager lady came out a second later and as she started to cross the street, she shot a glaring little look at me and said "i hope you enjoy your FEZ!!! in a hissy spiteful tone. i just laughed at her. freaking georgetown retailers.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does yer monkey wear a fez?

8:50 AM  
Blogger Sir Poo-a-lot said...

Mustafa rules! How did the costume turn out?

12:39 PM  
Blogger johnny dollar said...

hey poo! well it was great, all i needed was to put on my grey suit and sunglasses and wear the fez. i also dyed my hair black with some stuff i got from the drug store. i had lots of fun, many people recognized who i was trying to be and some insisted on trying on the fez. there was lots of fez love that night. sadly i have no photos :(

1:18 PM  
Blogger tfg said...

Is there a story behind the leoporard-skin print fez?

8:06 PM  
Blogger johnny dollar said...

hey tfg, short story is, it's a lounge culture accessory you can buy at archie mcphee


long story is, the fez is worn by the bartender johnny johnny in the wildly popular video podcast called tiki bar tv. the most recent episode is downloadable here:


longest story is, since i resemble johnny johnny when i wear the fez, but i have a goatee, in effect according to tv logic i am the evil twin brother of johnny johnny


8:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fezzes, not just for Mustafa and Johnny $!

10:06 PM  
Blogger RonM said...

I'm glad you fezzed up about the fez. Is fezzes the plural of fez or should it be fezi?

It would make a nicer cuss word than the other f word ie what the fez!

7:07 AM  
Blogger johnny dollar said...

ahah, good one xtabay ~ glad you stopped by by b.t.w. i'm figuring plural of fez is fezzes, since it's non-western word - ???? (wtfez do i know)

9:16 AM  

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