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johnny dollar's vault

retro pop culture and various local observations and ramblings.

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Location: Baltimore, Maryland, United States
johnny dollar's vault resides in the basement of stately dollar maisonTM, amongst the wine cellar, tiki bar, and finicky electrical panel. from time to time i will unearth various artifacts from either there or from the random crevices of my mind.

please visit the new and improved pig cookin' post!

NOTE: this blog will NOT deal with any recent pop culture (i.e. since about 1990) or topical issues, so if you're looking for discussion about britney baracko jacko flacco, look elsewhere, lol

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

the most entertaining internet entertainment that i am entertained by

if you enjoy monty python, booze, pretty girls, and unintentionally hokey 1950's educational films, you should probably read on.

if you don't enjoy the above, then you should probably go here.

okay, now that those people are gone, i need to preach to you the gospel of tiki bar tv. it's simply the best show available on any media platform, and it's free.

clickie below:

now that you are a ravenous fan, you can watch all of them here, or simply subscribe to the podcast on itunes. you can thank me later.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

pirate day addendüm: pirates vs. ninjas

totally sweet! arrr!

it's international talk in a comically stereotypical way so as to annoy those with no sense of humor day

Friday, September 15, 2006

cookiepuss, bizzatches!!!1

cookiepuss. nuff said.

Monday, September 11, 2006

the notorious p.i.g.

had the privelege of attending this year's pigtown festival. t'was indeed oinky fun...

the pig run was more of a pig stroll. and unlike the bulls in pamplona the humans were behind the critters instead of in front of.

butt it was certainly worth checking out.

there was an iron pig cookoff... that was neither here nor there, but ya gotta love pig trophies.

mo pig...

after a cheese steak and a stroll we went wee wee wee all the way home.

but not before scoring this sticker - lolz - if any of youse who actually live there want it, it's yours :P

Thursday, September 07, 2006

captain mnemonic in outer space

ok amongst the dead horses beaten recently, australian or otherwise, is the fact that planet pluto has been wacked. no concern of mine. however, what about the CHILDREN? what mnemonic device will they be taught in science class to remember the position of the planets (M, V, E, M, J, S, U, N)? to rectify this educational crisis, my intarnet pals and i have attemptified to address the situation:

my vespa essentially makes john stamos unbelievably nervous *

most voles eat moldy jambalaya since understanding nostradamus **

my virgin european mailbride, julianna, sleeps until noon ***

melanin-vague entertainer, michael jackson, seems under-nourished ***

more vengence emerges, mollify jealous scientists' ultimatum: nothingness **

miami vice episodes make johnson seem unusually narcissistic ***

marcia's very enchanting, mousy jan somewhat ugly nerd *

and the piece of resistance,

milli vanilli entertained many juveniles strictly under nine ****

* purple jade

** me

*** sabu the coconut boy

**** tikifish

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

some weekend scores, and i don't mean sports

foist of all, it was swell to meet you real live bloggers at the happy hour on friday - those who say intarnet people are antisocial losers are big poopyheads. and not 1337 h4x0rz at all.

just so you can see i'm a real life loser, here is some of the swag we scored in pennsylvania's antiques nirvana. it is not all of it of course:

tiki napkin holder; cocojoe statue of king kamehameha; 'kon tiki' mug from luau hut, silver spring, md; two highball glasses featuring don ho from the polynesian palace; a moai head set of s&p's; a ku fogcutter mug; and a tiki carver resin statue.

mrs. dollar has overcome her fez envy by scoring this women's white fez with pink tassel. she threatens to put a hello kitty pin on it :)

random junk? sure. had fun? you bet your sweet bippy.

Friday, September 01, 2006

tag team

aiiight i'm not super into these meme things, but charissa asked nicely. and it will be an excuse to say silly things.

1) you have been selected as the next super hero in your city. what power will you choose to have? - the power to silence all cellphones, politicians, and subwoofers. and i guess conquer bad guys while earning cash and prizes.
2) lemon or lime? - fresh lime in my mai-tai or key lime pie
3) how many speeding tickets have you recieved? - uh... two? ossifer?
4) it's last call for alcohol what will you order? - cghaan ay crasgsh on yer coucshch?
5) which video game character would you want to be? - pitfall harry!!!
6) what event do you think has had the most effect on this country?
a) 9-11 - yesh
b) iraq war
c) 2000 election of bush
7) what was the street name you lived on the majority of your childhood? - renita (on ice)
8) the name of your first pet? - pepi the big dopey dawg
9) your first grade teacher's last name? - miss fredrickson the parochial school hippie
10) what color are your current undergarments? - grey with glow in the dark skulls